Why Moving Back May Be Hard After Living Abroad
Here are some common challenges American expats may face when moving back to the U.S., based on my personal experience.
I’m basically an immigrant in my home country of the US.
This is the result of living overseas for about 13 years. Here, I’ll highlight some general challenges that I’ve either faced or realized may be an issue that can affect those moving back to the US from wherever they may be.
If you are living abroad and planning to move back to the US or are planning to move abroad, you may find my realizations useful.
1. You may lack relevant professional experience
The work you do overseas may not have much relevance to a job you’re looking to do back home. Even for someone like me who works in marketing, some of the things I do is for the Japanese market, which would be quite different if an employer was looking to market to people in the US.
Even if you do have relevant experience, it may be likely that an employer will favor someone who is equally as qualified as you if their experience is in the US. Why? People want to protect themselves and make sure they’re doing their job correctly.
Not being able to judge your foreign work, skills, company, clients, etc., means more risk to the person in charge of hiring.
You may also have fewer professional connections since you’ve been away.
Knowing people and maintaining those relationships matters. The longer you’re away, the higher the chance that your professional relationships have weakened over time.
Your relevance will decrease with time and distance. This is why I believe you should build some your personal brand (reputation) online at some level so that you can be found from anywhere and people can’t connect with you based on interest.
2. The US government may doubt you
There’s a chance you’ll run into issues with moving back to the US if you’ve been overseas for a while. This is especially true if you end up marrying a foreigner and are sponsoring them for a spousal visa.
While applying for a spousal visa for my Japanese wife, I was asked to provide more proof that I actually intended to move back to the US. This is difficult because while the US has “permanent addresses” that could be a sign of intention to relocate back if it’s a U.S. address, there’s no official legal documentation for it.
I ended up having to gather various pieces of evidence that I still kept an American base, signaling an intention to one day move back. I talked about it in my video, but basically if you’ve been gone for a while, it might not exactly be free sailing back home.
3. Your credit might be good but too weak
Just because your credit score is good doesn’t mean you won’t run into problems, I realized.
I had no problems getting a mobile phone contract nor a new credit card, but I wasn’t able to get a good rate for a car lease. I wasn’t denied, but the amount was roughly double what was being advertised even with a decent downpayment.
The reason given to me was that while my credit was good, I didn’t have enough credit history.
I had never taken out a personal loan or car loan, never bought a house and didn’t have any tuition loans. I did have credit cards, but due to living overseas, they were rarely used.
Even though my credit score was said to be 114 points above the average for my age, that didn’t mean that I was being offered what others with that score were when it comes to bigger purchases.
4. You may notice “gaps” in your existing relationships due to time and distance
When you first move back and see friends, family and acquaintances, things are great because they’re happy you’re back and you can have a good time reminiscing about your past experiences together.
You’ll realize, however, that everyone has different lives, routines and rhythms that aren’t like how they were before. And the same goes for you since you’ve likely changed quite a bit while living abroad.
Activities and interests that tied you together before may have changed, and rebuilding your relationships requires some adjusting. There may be a bit of feeling like an outsider, because in a sense, you are. But if you’re both willing to work at it, you should be able to bring your relationship up to speed and build on them.
I hope this provides some insight into what challenges are common for American expats when moving back to the US. I’m sure this doesn’t cover them all and returning may be difficult, but having an international life isn’t meant to be simple.
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New Year’s Differences: Japanese vs Japanese-American
Here’s how Japanese in Japan and Japanese-Americans in Hawaii celebrate Japanese New Year’s differently.
I’ve spent many Holiday seasons in Japan while living there for 13 years. There are a lot of differences during that time compared to the US. For one, Christmas is more family focused in the US while it’s more like a Valentine’s Day in Japan. There’s also way more gift giving in the US than there is in Japan.
New Year’s is quiet and family focused in Japan and more of a party and celebration in the US. New Year’s is also more of the focus in Japan as there’s a long holiday during this time.
I’m Japanese-American and grew up celebrating New Year’s with some Japanese traditions which is common amongst Japanese-Americans in Hawaii. There are probably some differences between Japanese-Americans in Hawaii vs the U.S. Mainland and even between families, just as there are differences between regions in Japan, but I’ll share some observations I’ve had from my personal experiences.
1. There’s not much mochi pounding in Japan
One of the big things that I’ve noticed is that there’s more focus on making mochi in Hawaii than in Japan.
Mochi is a food made of rice that’s been pounded and made into a sticky texture. For New Year’s, it’s used in a traditional Japanese soup called ozoni, and when I was growing up, we pounded the rice with a machine and relatives would come over and shape the mochi with our hands.
My uncle and his family host an annual mochitsuki, or mochi pounding, event to bring people together and teach kids Japanese traditions. I’ve also noticed that many other Japanese-American families and groups in Hawaii doing the same.
In my 13 years in Japan, I only saw mochi pounding twice.
Once was part of a City Hall activity and once was for a school activity for students. I’ve lived both in Tokyo and in a smaller locale, and I’ve seen a family do it.
The principal at the school that held the activity said it’s a dying culture which is why he decided to have it for the students. While many in the neighborhood use to gather to take part in the tradition when he was younger, nowadays, most Japanese just buy mochi at the store.
2. There’s no kadomatsu in homes
Kadomatsu is a Japanese New Year decoration mainly made with bamboo, leaves, and rope.
In Hawaii, they’re sold even at places like Costco and Whole Foods. Family friends also made them and gifted them to us during the season. It might be that we were doing it wrong as a family, but we put them on display in our house.
It’s not as common for people in Japan to decorate with kadomatsu, it’s more common for businesses and shrines.
What I learned however, is that it’s supposed to be displayed outside because it’s meant to guide Gods and spirits. I’ve also never seen a kadomatsu at my wife’s home or any other Japanese friend’s home around this time of year.
3. Hawaii Japanese New Year’s food is different from Japanese New Year’s food
In Japan, New Year’s has a lot of cultural traditions and that includes food. There’s traditional dishes like osechi ryori where basically each item has a meaning.
In Hawaii, food is more representative of the mixed backgrounds of families, so you can have Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Filipino - basically all sorts of foods mixed together.
It may be that some dishes are localized from a part of Japan I’m not familiar with, but even New Year’s dishes labeled as “Japanese” in Hawaii are different.
“Namasu” in Hawaii is more commonly called “sunomono” in Japan
In Hawaii, namasu is mainly vinegered cucumber slices and wakame seaweed. In Japan, it’s mostly thinly sliced and vinegered carrots and daikon.
Seeing how culture changes as time passes or situations change due to immigration or relocation is interesting. I’m glad I could experience both Japanese New Year’s culture and Hawaii Japanese-American New Year’s cultures.
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Japanese-Americans: 4th vs. 2nd Generation
A conversation revealing differences between 2nd and 4th generation Japanese-Americans.
I am Japanese-American. I grew up in the US before moving to Japan. I’ve talked about that experience before.
As with any minority, Japanese-Americans tend to get grouped all together. While most of us do share many similarities, when you dive a little deeper, many differences begin to reveal themselves.
Where we grow up and live are huge factors.
In WWII when Japanese-American Nisei (2nd Generation) soldiers served in the US military against German Nazis, and these differences were seen.
Hawaii soldiers called their continental mainland Japanese-American comrades “Katonks”, and viewed them as arrogant, more focused on themselves, and viewed them as thinking of themselves highly due to speaking more American English.
Mainland Japanese-American soldiers called Hawaii ones “Buddhaheads”, and viewed them as loud, unrefined and as bullies while speaking a non-standard, Hawaii pidgin English.
Even in my time, I’ve noticed differences between those from my home in Hawaii and others who grew up elsewhere.
Another big factor is when your family immigrated.
I myself am 4th generation, meaning that it was my great-grandparents that first came over. My family has been in the US from the early 1900s, which means significant events in American history helped impact and shape the family.
I grew up surrounded by English speaking family members. There was no Japanese language in my day-to-day. My parents cooked Japanese or Japanese inspired foods sometimes, but it was often a variety of cuisines. We celebrated some Japanese events, but just a few, and they may have been altered over time. My grandfather fought in WWII in the 100th Battalion/442nd Regimental Combat Team, so I grew up aware of American racism against Japanese-Americans.
But take a 2nd generation Japanese-American, for example. They’ve likely grown up in a Japanese-speaking family environment. Their parents probably cooked a lot of Japanese food if they have access to ingredients. They may celebrate more Japanese events and in a more authentic manner. And because their family immigrated after WWII, awareness about those specific struggles is likely less. And there may be more of a split feeling between their American and Japanese identities, especially if they are close to their extended families in Japan and have visited over the years.
After being interviewed in Japanese YouTuber Nobita from Japan’s video on Japanese-Americans living in Japan, another interviewee reached out to me. We decided to have chats on what it’s like growing up as 2nd and 4th generation Japanese-Americans, and in Hawaii versus Florida.
Check it out.
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The Japanese Versions of Hawaii Snacks
There are many Japanese-influenced snacks in Hawaii. Here are the Japanese versions of them and their histories.
Hawaii and Japan are tied culturally due to the mass immigration of Japanese pre-World War II. It’s still close today. For Japanese, Hawaii is considered a top travel destination and many locals in Hawaii also enjoy visiting Japan.
It should be of no surprise that some foods and snacks have ties to Japan as well. Here are a few.
Tomoe Ame (Bontan Ame)
Tomoe Ame is a brand of “bontan ame” is a candy found in crack seed and drug stores in Hawaii. They may appear in Japanese shops on the US mainland as well.
It’s soft, chewy, slightly fruity candy wrapped in rice paper. It’s fun for kids because they put a sticker inside the box. It’s made in Nagoya, Japan and is imported but I haven’t seen the brand or box being sold in Japan.
In Japan, it’s more commonly known simply as Bontan Ame, and tastes almost exactly the same as the one in Hawaii.
It originated in Kagoshima and was derived from a mochi-like snack from nearby Kumamoto. The candy was created by adding bontan, or a Pomelo citrus fruit.
Found at: Daiso
Price: ~100 JPY (1 box)
https://www.seikafoods.jp [J]
Butter mochi
Japanese butter mochi
Butter mochi is actually a local, Hawaii snack and was not imported from Japan. However, it does use Japanese ingredients and it’s reasonable to say that there’s at least some influence.
Japanese butter mochi is very different. While the Hawaii version is a dense, caky, dessert treat, butter mochi in Japan resembles typical mochi more.
Butter mochi in Japan originated in Akita, and is a simple, delicious, butter-flavored soft mochi snack.
Found at: Supermarkets
Price: ~180 JPY (1 pc)
Hawaii version recipe: https://kirbiecravings.com
Chi chi dango
Chichi dango is one of the more well known Japanese snacks in Hawaii. It’s a soft, sticky mochi that’s often made with mochiko powder, coconut milk and so on.
The truth is, chichi dango is not well known in Japan.
Chichi dango originated in a small city called Shōbara-shi (庄原市) in Hiroshima prefecture. In 1900, a national dairy farm was established in the area and got big. The founder of Izumi Kouwadou, a nearby shop, wanted to make a nutritious snack with the milk, and that’s how his shop became the origin of chichi dango, selling it in 1934.
The ingredients differ from the common recipes found in Hawaii. They use no water or coconut milk. It’s simply mochiko powder in milk, sugar, glucose syrup and honey.
Food coloring also isn’t used for the pink and green colors. The pink is made from rosé wine from Miyoshi-shi, a city next to the Shōbara-shi area. The green is made from yomogi, a sagebrush.
While it may be known in the eastern parts of Hiroshima prefecture, it’s not known throughout Japan.
Found at: Online, shops in Hiroshima
http://chichidango.co.jp [J]
Price: ~ 810 JPY (15 pc.)
Habutae mochi
Habutae mochi is similar to chichi dango. The reason why I’m adding this in is because it’s more well known in Japan than chichi dango.
It’s made in many places in the country but originated in Fukui prefecture. It’s called “habutae” in reference to Japanese silk. Fukui prefecture is known for making a lot of textiles, including the silk, and the mochi has a texture that is smooth and silk-like.
Habutae mochi is made from steamed mochi powder, sugar and corn syrup. No milk.
It is very soft, and is somewhat similar to gyuhi, or the mochi-like topping that’s found in frozen yogurt parlors.
Found at: Department stores, supermarkets
Price: ~ 800 JPY (8 pcs)
Li hing mui
Li hing mui is not from Japan, but there is something similar. If you don’t know, li hing mui is dried plums that began being imported from China in the early 1900s.
Probably the most common snack condiment in Hawaii, li hing mui can be found everywhere. If not in seed form, it’s used as a powder or syrup on anything from gummies and Sour Patch Kids to apples and pineapples, popcorn and shave ice to margaritas and desserts.
It is an acquired taste, however, as it’s very salty.
In Japan, dried, salty plums are most common in Okinawa. These were from Gifu prefecture though, and they were a lot saltier. They also had a sakura-like flower, which is different from Hawaii’s, which are either red or grey.
Found at: Convenience stores, Japanese ingredient shops
Price: ~200-500 JPY (1 pkg)
http://www.plumnature.com [J]
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Living in Japan as a Japanese-American
My experience living in Japan as a Japanese-American, both in the countryside and in the city.
There is no universal experience living in Japan as a foreigner.
A lot of the perspectives being shared out there come from those who are more obviously foreign, but what about the perspectives of Asian foreigners? And in particular, what about those who are Japanese by blood?
I fall into that category.
To give you some context on me, I’m a 4th generation Japanese-American, which means my great-grandparents immigrated to from Japan to the US.
I grew up in Honolulu, Hawaii, which has a lot of Asian influence and a lot of Japanese influence. After high school, I moved around on the US West coast before moving to Japan. I first lived in a small area of Fukuoka prefecture before moving to Tokyo, so I have the experience of both environments.
Japanese, but altered.
One of the things I realized while living in Japan was that what some things that I had known to be Japanese in the US, was sometimes old or not Japanese at all.
Names for example. Many of my Japanese-American friends have Japanese middle names. I found out that a lot of those names are very old, likely because those were the names common during the time that our ancestors immigrated.
Yakudoshi was another. Growing up in Hawaii, I was under the impression that they were special years and people would have Yakudoshi parties. In Japan, I found out that they’re a set of bad luck years and are not to be celebrated. Going to a temple or shrine to pray about it is more common.
American, but…
The degree to which people in Japan can understand and accept you varies from person to person, and more generally, rural and city environments play a factor. People in the cities are more likely to have had some experience with foreigners or traveling abroad.
The different between ethnicity and nationality isn’t one that’s easily understood. Japan, after all, is not all that diverse.
I’ve come across people who easily understood my background and others who could not comprehend it even if their life depended on it.
In general, there is always a “but”, or explanation that needs to happen after saying that I’m American. This can be that I have Japanese blood or that I’m from Hawaii. I don’t really get the simple “Oh ok”as a Caucasian person would after saying they’re American.
Invisible foreigner
I’ve never been stared at (unless I deserved it), never had people fascinated by my hair, never been immediately refused service. This tends to be different from the experience a lot of more obvious foreigners have.
On the other hand, I’ve never been given special treatment for photo ops, never had Japanese people running to talk to me so they can practice conversations, and never got put on camera during English summer camps with foreign teachers when I used to teach.
This ability to blend in better and almost be an invisible foreigner has its advantages and disadvantages.
I made a video talking about my experience living in Japan as a Japanese-American. If you’re interested, please take a look: Living in Japan as a Japanese-American
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The vendors that we used for our Hawaii wedding party and our experiences with them.