Planning a Casual Outdoor Wedding Party in Hawaii
The vendors that we used for our Hawaii wedding party and our experiences with them.
After putting off a celebration for three years, my wife and I decided to have a casual party where friends and family from the U.S., Japan, and elsewhere could gather, have fun, and enjoy each others’ company. We decided to do it in Honolulu in the fall of 2023.
Even though we intended it to be casual, planning it was a lot of work. In this blog, I’ll share who we worked with for our wedding and our experiences with them.
Circumstances and wishes
Accommodate approx. 120 guests
No ceremony
Fully outdoors
Easy for guests to get to and from
Sophisticated yet casual vibe
No sit-down buffet or course dinner
Minimum number of speeches and formalities
Accommodate English and Japanese-speaking guests
Being that this wasn’t typical, all hotel packages didn’t fit and every time a coordinator or vendor we’d reached out to responded with an overly romantic message, we’d get the feeling that they wouldn’t be a match.
Despite these challenges, the night was a success and exceeded all of my expectations.
Here’s what we used and who we ended up working with from to make the night happen:
Invitations & Management
Wedsites
Wedsites - Wedding website, invitation management, guest and overall organization
Having guests that needed both English and Japanese communications added a challenge to finding a wedding management service. Wedsites was the only service that we could find that provided multi-lingual online invitation, email and website templates.
It wasn’t a perfect system. For example, it was difficult separating guests by their preferred language when sending out emails as there wasn’t an option to sort by it, so we had to check them one-by-one when sending. And because everything revolved around a template, we couldn’t control things such as how to display dates and time in a manner that was native to Japanese.
Overall though, it seemed like the best service that we could find that had some ability to accommodate multiple languages, and it did the job relatively well.
Venue
La Pietra School for Girls
The Great Lawn at La Pietra School was the main area for our wedding party
La Pietra was our first choice from the start, but they don’t open their schedules up until March, and that would be too close to our September target date to bet everything on them. We actually had the Hawaii State Art Museum lined up, but their communication with us was spotty at best and overall, they weren’t really helpful. We also found out later that due to their location and lack of parking, it would be basically impossible to have valet service, and the nearby area is not the safest for night events with friends and family.
Luckily, La Pietra notified us that we could select a target date with them and it happened to still be available. While they’re not the cheapest option and they come with some strict rules and limited parking, they were very responsive and helpful throughout the process. Their location at the foot of Diamond Head is fantastic, their campus is beautiful, and they made for a great location to have our celebration.
https://www.lapietra.edu/about/facility-rentals/inquiry
Planner/Coordinator
Lauren R.
Finding a planner/coordinator was a bit difficult, especially because we started our search only a few months before our date, and because most wedding planners have their set approach and teams. We, on the other hand, were looking for something a bit different from the typical.
Our planner/coordinator happened to be someone who had never done a wedding before.
We got connected to her through my mom’s friend. Moving back to Hawaii a few years ago, Lauren’s experience centered around doing events and corporate parties for companies on the U.S. Mainland, and her non-traditional approach and experience getting people to socialize and interact was perfect.
Throughout the process, she was very helpful and made sure everything went the way it was supposed to. She doesn’t have a website or anything that I know of (this was just a side gig, after all), but if anyone’s interested, contact me and I’ll reach out to her and see if she’s open to helping out. I’d definitely recommend her.
Catering
Livestock Tavern & Tchin Tchin! Bar
Two of Downtown Honolulu’s hippest spots, they’re actually run by the same company. While we reached out to a few other vendors, Livestock / Tchin Tchin! were the ones we were hoping for from the beginning because we wanted to have food and drink vendors that we actually liked at our party.
They were really good at working with us to adjust our menu as well as offer services to us so that we wouldn’t have to find someone else to help out. They provided cocktail foods and drinks, had wait staff walk around the party offering the dishes and bartenders handing out beer, pouring wine and mixing the cocktails.
At the end, they did all the clean up and everything went really smoothly. They even kept our leftover drinks for us to pick up at their restaurant a few days after. If you want friendly service and a crew that does things well, I recommend them.
For non-alcohol drinks (seltzers, coffee, water, kids’ juices), we bought and packed them ourselves, then brought them to the event. Livestock / Tchin Tchin! were willing to man those stations for us for the evening.
Black Sheep Cream Co.
Black Sheep Cream Co. has a small station setup to serve ice cream to the guests
Perhaps our favorite ice cream in Hawaii, Black Sheep Cream Co. was our first choice when we thought about having a dessert vendor. They have an amazing list of flavors to choose from, and we could choose 3 for our party, a cookies-and-cream one, coffee and black sesame.
They came about an hour into our party, discreetly set up a little cart under an umbrella that we were asked to get for them, and began serving. We were also able to pick up the leftovers from their Waipio location which was great since we like their ice cream so much.
https://www.instagram.com/blacksheepcreamco
The Alley @ Aiea Bowl
Lemon crunch and strawberry crunch cakes from The Alley at Aiea Bowl were among the desserts served at our wedding party
We’re not fans of most American cakes, they’re too sweet. But how can you have a party without cake, right? One of the cakes that we like is the lemon crunch cake from popular local spot Aiea Bowl.
We ordered lemon crunch cakes and a strawberry crunch cake of the same style, had someone pick them up and bring them to our party. Cake stands and servers were prepared by us, and our planner/coordinator helped with managing their set up and clean up. It seemed that everyone else liked them too as I think they were gone pretty quickly.
https://aieabowl.com/restaurant/bakery/
Hauoli Pastry
Chewy mochisadas from Hauoli Pastry were dropped off and placed for self-service
Hauoli Pastry and their mochisadas were introduced to us by our planner/coordinator. We had planned on having malasadas, the doughnut-like pastry that’s popular in Hawaii, but when I went to try these mochisadas at a school fair, I wanted to find a way to have them instead.
Mochisadas are small chewy, mochi-like doughnuts with a light sugar coating on the outside. John, the pastry chef and owner, had options to either set up a booth and cook them on-site or do a drop off just before dessert time. We chose the drop-off, our planner/coordinator handled it, and everything went smoothly. I’m really glad we were able to have these at our party, although I wish could’ve eaten more!
Tables, linens, etc.
Event Accents
Furniture was rented from Event Accents, and they transported, set up and took down everything
After browsing catalogs and reaching out to a few different furniture rental companies, Event Accents had the most options at reasonable prices, and they were able to accommodate our weekend event.
Their rental minimum for a weekend event was $5,000, but our order exceeded that mark. About 4 hours for set up and 2 hours for clean up was requested, so this did add to the time we needed to rent the venue. Everything was completed without issue and the staff was responsive and helpful throughout the process.
WedCycle
Tables were decorated with a combination of rentals from WedCycle and The Wedding Linen Company, florals from Watanabe Floral and items we made or provided ourselves
We bought some of the small decorations ourselves on SHEIN and Amazon, and at places like Target, but we also rented a lot. WedCycle, a boutique rental service located in West Oahu, was a great option as it helped eliminate waste since we only had plans to use a lot of decorative items once.
While they asked to change the exchange time from what was planned, the owners were personable and everything went smoothly.
https://www.wedcyclehawaii.com/
The Wedding Linen Company
While Event Accents rented out linens through their partner, Fine Linen Rental, their prices were quite high and many of the options had to be shipped in. The Wedding Linen Company had the linens we needed for a lot less and they came pressed when our planner/coordinator picked them up.
https://theweddinglinencompany.com/
Wasara
Japanese brand Wasara makes stylish disposable plates, bowls and utensils
Due to the casual nature of our wedding party, we decided to have disposable plates and utensils. As you know, most of these types of things are unstylish. We decided to buy matte black plastic forks from Sabert, and we bought paper plates from Wasara.
Based in Japan, Wasara adds class to typical paper dishes and disposable utensils, items that almost always get overlooked in the U.S. Square-shaped and designed with a slight wave, these plates were easy to hold, just the right size for the cocktail foods, and they looked nice. A lot of guests made positive comments about them as they’re not known or seen.
Floral
Watanabe Floral
The go-to place for flowers on Oahu, Watanabe Floral had options to customize floral arrangements for pick up or delivery as well as individual items for purchase.
Having Watanabe make the arrangements were ridiculously expensive, however. For an 8-foot garland for a farm table made of an arrangement of mainly greens and a little bit of small white flowers, we were quoted $640/each. For a 4-foot version, $320. Delivery would’ve been $40.
This would’ve totaled to quite a bit considering there were several tables to cover, so we decided to purchase the items individually and put them together ourselves. It was a lot of work, but it saved us a lot of money in the end.
Cindy’s Lei Shoppe
Located in Chinatown, Cindy’s Lei Shoppe had a nice catalog at decent prices. Some leis we were considering weren’t available and a couple of our orders needed to be adjusted, but that can’t be helped as they depend on the flowers coming in.
Their staff was really friendly and patient, especially with me since I don’t know much about flowers and leis. We’re very satisfied with them and recommend them.
https://www.cindysleishoppe.com/
MC, music & entertainment
Torch Hawaii
Kaulana of Torch Hawaii did an amazing job MC’ing our wedding party
For lights, sound, MC and DJ, we went with Torch Hawaii as we’re connected through a mutual friend. They were able to overcome some big external issues that was out of either of our hands, and were flawless for our event.
The MC, Kaulana, was really personable and always made us feel relaxed and reassured that things were being taken care of just how we wanted it. He’s amazing at reading the crowd and their energy, and responding accordingly.
Prior to the party, we submitted a short song list so they could get a feel for what we wanted them to play throughout the evening, and the music was on point for the whole time. We’re really happy to have been able to work with them and would easily recommend them.
https://www.instagram.com/torchhawaii/
Jordan Paul
Kauai-based singer songwriter Jordan Paul performed live music at our wedding party
What’s an outdoor wedding party without live music, right? To set the mood at the beginning of our event and for the first hour or so, we had local singer songwriter (and my cousin) Jordan Paul perform. Based on Kauai, Jordan not only performs locally but has also toured as far away as Europe, performing for enthusiastic crowds there.
He was a breeze to work with and was exactly the vibe we were looking for. Guests who didn’t know we were related came up to us complimenting him, so I definitely recommend checking him out.
https://www.instagram.com/jordvnpaul/
Photography
Colby and Jess
Colby of Colby and Jess took great couples’ shots as well as candids at our wedding party
As someone who takes photos myself, I was a bit particular about who I wanted to work with. I looked around at potential candidates but would find reasons to not go through with them. I was referred to Colby and Jess by a great photographer we worked with in Japan, Sam Spicer.
Colby flew into Honolulu from Maui, was really chill and easygoing, and helped us feel relaxed in front of the camera. He was able to capture great photos of us, our event and the moments that happened and delivered 385 shots from the evening. We're very happy that we worked with Colby, wouldn't hesitate to work with him again, and would recommend him to anyone.
Signage
Zazzle
Zazzle allows users to design custom signage, stationary and more
Due to their wide range of customizable products, Zazzle proved to be a good one-stop option to get our signage and thank you stationary from. We ordered directional signs for parking and guidance, a welcome sign, drink and food menus, and tabletop directions on what to do with the disposable cameras that we had left out for guests to use.
Products could be designed on the site simply by editing existing designs, and everything arrived as ordered with no issues.
Guest Photo/Video Sharing
Guestpix
Guestpix lets wedding party guests easily upload their photos and videos that can be downloaded after for memories
We wanted our evening to be documented as much as possible, and getting the guests involved is a great way to do that. Guestpix allowed guests to easily upload the photos and videos they took into a gallery that could be downloaded and shared by us after.
This could be done by providing a link to an online drive, however this service was more seamless for those who may not be as tech-savvy. QR codes were generated by the service and we printed them out and left them around our event for easy access. We were able to download all of the content submitted and everything was separated into folders according to which guest uploaded them.
It’s a pretty easy tool to use and a great way to easily collect the photos and videos from your event.
Insurance
The Event Helper
Insurance was required for us to have by the venue, and we were able to get coverage quickly through The Event Helper. I’m not sure how they compare to other options, however I had no issues and getting coverage was pretty simple as it’s just going through a few pages of online questions.
https://application.theeventhelper.com/
Security
Honolulu Police Department
Officer presence was requested by the venue, and we were able to apply for an off-duty police officer through an online application. Payment was made by check directly to the officer who reported at the time of the event.
https://www.honolulupd.org/police-services/hire-a-special-duty-officer/order/
I hope my comprehensive list and reviews give some insight as to who you could potentially work with for a casual yet classy outdoor wedding party on Oahu. While planning was still a lot of work and at times quite chaotic, the actual wedding party went smoothly, guests had a great time and so did we - and that’s what matters.
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New Year’s Differences: Japanese vs Japanese-American
Here’s how Japanese in Japan and Japanese-Americans in Hawaii celebrate Japanese New Year’s differently.
I’ve spent many Holiday seasons in Japan while living there for 13 years. There are a lot of differences during that time compared to the US. For one, Christmas is more family focused in the US while it’s more like a Valentine’s Day in Japan. There’s also way more gift giving in the US than there is in Japan.
New Year’s is quiet and family focused in Japan and more of a party and celebration in the US. New Year’s is also more of the focus in Japan as there’s a long holiday during this time.
I’m Japanese-American and grew up celebrating New Year’s with some Japanese traditions which is common amongst Japanese-Americans in Hawaii. There are probably some differences between Japanese-Americans in Hawaii vs the U.S. Mainland and even between families, just as there are differences between regions in Japan, but I’ll share some observations I’ve had from my personal experiences.
1. There’s not much mochi pounding in Japan
One of the big things that I’ve noticed is that there’s more focus on making mochi in Hawaii than in Japan.
Mochi is a food made of rice that’s been pounded and made into a sticky texture. For New Year’s, it’s used in a traditional Japanese soup called ozoni, and when I was growing up, we pounded the rice with a machine and relatives would come over and shape the mochi with our hands.
My uncle and his family host an annual mochitsuki, or mochi pounding, event to bring people together and teach kids Japanese traditions. I’ve also noticed that many other Japanese-American families and groups in Hawaii doing the same.
In my 13 years in Japan, I only saw mochi pounding twice.
Once was part of a City Hall activity and once was for a school activity for students. I’ve lived both in Tokyo and in a smaller locale, and I’ve seen a family do it.
The principal at the school that held the activity said it’s a dying culture which is why he decided to have it for the students. While many in the neighborhood use to gather to take part in the tradition when he was younger, nowadays, most Japanese just buy mochi at the store.
2. There’s no kadomatsu in homes
Kadomatsu is a Japanese New Year decoration mainly made with bamboo, leaves, and rope.
In Hawaii, they’re sold even at places like Costco and Whole Foods. Family friends also made them and gifted them to us during the season. It might be that we were doing it wrong as a family, but we put them on display in our house.
It’s not as common for people in Japan to decorate with kadomatsu, it’s more common for businesses and shrines.
What I learned however, is that it’s supposed to be displayed outside because it’s meant to guide Gods and spirits. I’ve also never seen a kadomatsu at my wife’s home or any other Japanese friend’s home around this time of year.
3. Hawaii Japanese New Year’s food is different from Japanese New Year’s food
In Japan, New Year’s has a lot of cultural traditions and that includes food. There’s traditional dishes like osechi ryori where basically each item has a meaning.
In Hawaii, food is more representative of the mixed backgrounds of families, so you can have Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Filipino - basically all sorts of foods mixed together.
It may be that some dishes are localized from a part of Japan I’m not familiar with, but even New Year’s dishes labeled as “Japanese” in Hawaii are different.
“Namasu” in Hawaii is more commonly called “sunomono” in Japan
In Hawaii, namasu is mainly vinegered cucumber slices and wakame seaweed. In Japan, it’s mostly thinly sliced and vinegered carrots and daikon.
Seeing how culture changes as time passes or situations change due to immigration or relocation is interesting. I’m glad I could experience both Japanese New Year’s culture and Hawaii Japanese-American New Year’s cultures.
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Initial Reverse Culture Shocks Moving From Tokyo, Japan to Hawaii, USA
These are the initial things that have caught my attention in this early phase of reverse culture shock returning from Japan to Hawaii.
I lived in Japan for a total of 13 years, experiencing life both in the countryside and in the big city of Tokyo.
I would occasionally visit the US, most often my hometown of Honolulu, and there were always things that would stand out and require me to readjust to. Due to the pandemic, this is the longest period of not being in the US I’ve ever had.
A couple months ago, I returned to Honolulu to live. These are 11 things that are catching my attention in this early phase of reverse culture shock.
1. Service is way more casual
This was apparent right from my flight from Japan on Hawaiian Airlines. Staff were friendly and treated passengers like friends.
“Here’s your dinner, snack or whatever you want to call it.” said the flight attendant giving me my meal. Whatever I want to call it?
To her credit, the Hawaiian Airlines meal is more than a snack but definitely lacking as a meal compared to other airlines, so it is a bit hard to label.
Hawaiian Airlines’ meal from Tokyo to Honolulu has more unused tray space vs. other airlines on the same route
“You don’t want your cookie? It’s the best part!” another flight attendant said while picking up the meal trays.
Casual and friendly? Yes. Fitting with the local culture in Hawaii? Yes. As someone who grew up in Hawaii, it’s fine with me, but this type of service may be seen as too casual for someone expecting to be treated like a customer.
This is a huge contrast to how it typically is in Japan, as everything is formal, by the book, and overall really good but often lacking in human connection and empathy.
2. Smartphone apps are a lot better
Many in Japan are mobile-only, yet the smartphone app ecosystem is not as robust as it is in the US.
For example, the main app for my bank account at JP Post only allows me to see my balance and transactions. If I want to send money, I need to apply, go through a tedious security check, and use a second app. If I want to access my account on a PC, I need to apply for yet another login, and then use that separate login.
A separate app for Japan Post Bank used to authenticate customers again so they can use their account features in yet another app
Hakuyosha, a dry cleaning chain, has an app where you can register as a customer and earn points. It doesn’t keep transactions and you can’t use it to drop off or pick up your dry cleaning.
Systems aren’t connected which makes many apps in Japan less useful and feel like they’re several years behind the US in terms of functionality.
3. Mask usage varies
At the time I left Japan in last August 2022, nearly everyone still wore masks indoors and outdoors, although it began to decrease.
I’m not sure how many wore it because they wanted to, felt they had to, or did it because it was what everyone else was doing and didn’t want to cause problems by not doing so.
Coming back to the US, it seems to vary by location and time of day, at least in Honolulu. Overall, I’d say around 20-30% wear masks indoors.
4. Prices are high
The higher prices on everything, especially now with inflation issues, are a hard pill to swallow.
JPY value versus USD over the past year until mid-Oct 2022
Add into the equation the fact that I’ve been earning Japanese yen, a currency that has lost more than -26% in value against USD so far in 2022 (as of Oct), prices and my severely weakened buying power are catching my attention.
Tipping at restaurants, something not done in Japan, add to things, of course.
5. No updated price tags sometimes
While I’ve only seen this at Macy’s so far, I found it too odd to ignore. With no price tag on some items, there were signs saying to download their app and scan the item with it in order to “get prices in a snap”.
Macy’s asking people to download their app and scan items in their store in order to know their prices
Why would a store make you go through an extra step to see the price? Being physically so close to the point of purchase, store should make buying easy to do.
The overall feel of the store at the location I went to was also a bit dingy and disheveled, especially compared with department stores in Japan.
6. Way more dog-friendly
A dog walks out of a clothing store in a mall with its owner
Dogs in banks, cafes, clothing stores, etc. This is something I’m not use to seeing in Japan as dogs basically need to be tied up outside.
The dogs I’ve seen have been bigger than most in Japan, well-trained, well-behaved, and the overall pet dog environment seems to be a lot better.
7. Linear TV is dead
Streaming streaming streaming. Japan is full of streaming services as well, but not to the level that it is in the US.
Japan also doesn’t have YouTube TV, the service that basically gives you everything cable would. They also don’t have services like HBO Max, Peacock, etc. and they have limited cable TV that’s free (unless you pay the NHK bill or let their salesperson in, which most don’t).
8. Fruits aren’t as good on average
Japanese tourists like to take photos. of the fruit section in American supermarkets because of how they’re piled up in volumes. Unfortunately, the typical fruit doesn’t taste as good as their Japanese counterpart.
A juicy melon from Hokkaido, Japan. The juice in the cup on the right is just from cutting these slices
I’ve had good mangoes so far (I’m in Hawaii so go figure), but strawberries, melons, grapes… just not as good as Japan’s.
Bruised strawberries being sold at a supermarket in Honolulu
9. Trash is easier but probably not as good
In Honolulu, there are 3 trash bins: A grey one for regular trash, a blue one for recyclables, and a green one for yard waste.
In Japan, it varies by city, but in central Tokyo, most trash needs to be separated a lot more, despite being one of the relaxed cities when it comes to trash disposal.
This includes taking off labels from plastic bottles when disposing them, glass bottles, cans, burnable trash, etc. Milk cartons need to be separated. The disposal of slightly bigger objects need to be paid for and a pick-up needs to be scheduled. There are more rules and even in restaurants, paper and plastic are separated and there is another receptacle to get rid of any liquid before throwing cups away.
Trash in Japan has to be thoroughly separated, for example these plastic bottles with labels and caps removed
It feels odd to throw so many types of trash in a single waste basket or bin. It’s easier and more convenient, but is probably not as good and takes more work at recycling facilities.
10. Modern Japanese toilets are more common
The bathroom in general is one area that the US lags behind. Toilets and showers were so basic for the longest time.
While I’ve been aware of the increase in focus on modern Japanese toilets, as well as brands coming up selling attachable bidets, it’s interesting to see it first hand. From seeing them mentioned in hit drama series This Is Us to seeing TOTO washlet attachments being sold at Costco, it’s a welcomed change in American hygiene.
TOTO washlets being sold at Costco
11. Social Security Numbers are useful
This is overlooked as Americans, but my Japanese wife noticed how important social security numbers are.
Japan introduced their own version of an SSN a few years ago called “My Number”, and it still has very little usage due to systems not being connected with each other.
Many places don’t take My Number and choose to verify or check people’s status through traditional, analog methods such as official residence forms.
If you’d like to watch me cover this topic, check out the video here.
The vendors that we used for our Hawaii wedding party and our experiences with them.